Yesterday was the 5th and final day of my Family Dinner Challenge! For dinner, I made vegetable-rice soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. It was simple, but delicious. I also put a plate of salami and cheese on the table as an option for Mariana, since she isn't a soup fan. She ate salami and she did also have a few bites of a sandwich.
All in all, I think my Family Dinner Challenge was a success. Although I usually cook dinner every night, doing this personal challenge inspired me to be a little more creative. It also made me think even more about the purpose of family dinners and why I think they are so important. I went to the Holy Thursday Mass on Thursday evening, which is a commemoration of Jesus' Last Supper with his disciples. As I reflected on the symbolism of the Last Supper, my mind then drifted to Family Dinners. Throughout human history, in all cultures that I'm aware of, families and friends have gathered around the table to tell stories, to celebrate milestones, to offer comfort to one another and to, of course, share food. Every time we sit with our families at the table, whether it's to celebrate a birthday, a holiday or it's just another Thursday, we are sharing in a very human tradition. Sadly, it seems that this tradition is starting to be lost in our society. It seems in many families, more meals are eaten in the minivan than at home around the table. And, to many, this probably seems harmless. However, if we completely lose the tradition of sharing meals with our families on a regular basis, we may not be fully aware of the ramifications before it is too late.
Fortunately, based on the many comments and stories I received on this blog or on Facebook, many of you are keeping the Family Dinner tradition strong! You shared stories of having dinner with your families every night as you were growing up and shared about how you continued that with your own children. Some of you admitted that you don't have dinner together as frequently as you would like, but you're making an effort to make it happen when possible. I hope you all know that by putting in the little extra effort to make dinner and get your family to the table, even for 30 minutes a day, you are giving your children such a benefit! Afterall, children who eat regular meals with their families tend to have higher grades, have better self-esteem, are more polite and make healthier food choices, among many other things.
As I wrap up this project, I want to thank all of you for reading my blog and for offering your support. You have inspired me. I hope I have done the same for you. I wish many meals with your family...at the table.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Challenge: Day 4
Last night was day 4 of my challenge and it was another successful meal in many ways. The food was pretty simple: Pasta, sauce from a jar, frozen meatballs and garlic bread. It wasn't fancy or made from scratch, but I have learned that's ok. Mariana also joined us again, acted like the delightful little girl she usually is, and she ate without protest! I used the same approach as the night before where everything was set out on the table "family style." The great thing about serving dinner that way, I have observed, is even if she says she doesn't want something at first, like meatballs, for example, if she looks at it long enough, she eventually decides to give it a shot. Rene and I are also learning that the less of a fuss we make about what she's eating, the better. When she asked for the meatball, even though I wanted to do a little cheer and give Rene a high-five, I refrained. Instead, I gave her the meatball and pretended like I didn't notice she was taking a bite. I'm trying not get too excited about this success. As my wise mother reminded me today, kids are always changing their games so parents have to always change their's, too. This strategy may be working to get Mariana to eat this week, but we will see what next week brings. Nonetheless, I'm proud of Rene and I for holding our ground. I think it will definitely make meal times a lot more enjoyable for the long term.
I want to take a quick moment to thank those of you who have made comments, either on this blog or on facebook. Your comments and support have helped to validate the importance of advocating for family meal times. You have also helped to guid me through my challenge with my daughter. I am very gratefule to each of you for following my blog! Many thanks!
I want to take a quick moment to thank those of you who have made comments, either on this blog or on facebook. Your comments and support have helped to validate the importance of advocating for family meal times. You have also helped to guid me through my challenge with my daughter. I am very gratefule to each of you for following my blog! Many thanks!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Day 3: Third time's a charm
At this time last night, I was second guessing my parenting strategies and feeling that wonderful guilt that parents feel when they discipline their children, even if we know, deep down, it's the right thing. Fortunately, tonight I am in a much different place.
For dinner, I made homemade chicken tenders (chicken breast tenders, lightly coated in bread crumbs and pan-fried on the stove), salad, and fruit. Tonight, I put everything on the table, family style. When it was time for dinner, Mariana got up on her chair, looked at the food and promptly said, "I'm not eating this." I calmly replied, you can pick any of this, but these are your only choices." She thought for a moment, probably recalling last night's ordeal and then said, "Can I have a strawberry, please?" From that point on, dinner was perfect. It was probably the most perfect meal we have all had together in a while. Mariana ended up eating fruit, 3 small chicken tenders and several carrot sticks. But, more importantly than that, we all enjoyed our meal together. Mariana told Rene about her visit to the dentist today, Rene shared about his meetings, I got to tell them both about the good doctor appointment I had and how the baby is growing great. At the end of the meal, all 3 of us seemed so happy and relaxed and I realized, that is exactly what the purpose of Family Dinner time is: to help families connect with each other and feel refreshed and renewed after a long day a part. I am well aware that every dinner is not going to be the way it was tonight. I have no doubt that we will have more nights when Mariana will refuse to eat. But, tonight's dinner helped to validate why it is so important that we stay consistant with expectations, for dinner time or any time.
For dinner, I made homemade chicken tenders (chicken breast tenders, lightly coated in bread crumbs and pan-fried on the stove), salad, and fruit. Tonight, I put everything on the table, family style. When it was time for dinner, Mariana got up on her chair, looked at the food and promptly said, "I'm not eating this." I calmly replied, you can pick any of this, but these are your only choices." She thought for a moment, probably recalling last night's ordeal and then said, "Can I have a strawberry, please?" From that point on, dinner was perfect. It was probably the most perfect meal we have all had together in a while. Mariana ended up eating fruit, 3 small chicken tenders and several carrot sticks. But, more importantly than that, we all enjoyed our meal together. Mariana told Rene about her visit to the dentist today, Rene shared about his meetings, I got to tell them both about the good doctor appointment I had and how the baby is growing great. At the end of the meal, all 3 of us seemed so happy and relaxed and I realized, that is exactly what the purpose of Family Dinner time is: to help families connect with each other and feel refreshed and renewed after a long day a part. I am well aware that every dinner is not going to be the way it was tonight. I have no doubt that we will have more nights when Mariana will refuse to eat. But, tonight's dinner helped to validate why it is so important that we stay consistant with expectations, for dinner time or any time.
Challenge: Day 2
Day 2 of my Family Dinner Challenge
For dinner last night, I made tacos with ground turkey. Instead of using taco shells or tortillas, we wrapped the tacos in lettuce, which provides a nice crunch and makes the tacos a little lighter. I also made refried black beans (from the can) and made "salsa rice," which is simply white rice mixed with some salsa, black beans and little salt. Dinner was good, but it was over-shadowed by a dinner time side show...
The true challenge is proving to be getting Mariana to eat. Last night, as with the night before, I prepped her a few minutes before dinner by reminding her that she needed to try one bite of what I made. Well, this time, she didn't even make it to the table before the temper tantrum started. There were a few times when she calmed herself enough to ask for cheese (one of her favorite foods is shredded cheese), but when I told her she needed to eat one bite of beans first, the screaming and crying began again. I'm actually ashamed to admit that she screamed and carried on for close to an hour! Rene and I both did our very best to ignore the screaming and only talk to her when she was in a calmer state. I dug deep into my bag of strategies that I use with students that are having tantrums: stay calm, repeat the expectation, don't respond to undesired behaviors, and don't give in. Of course, when it's my own child, following all of those "rules" is very challenging. In the end, we held our ground, but Mariana held hers, too. She refused to eat a bite of beans, so she did not have dinner. She did drink some milk and since she had eaten well the rest of the day, I knew she wouldn't starve. But that didn't help with the guilt that went along with knowing that my almost 3 year old went to bed without eating dinner.
After she was in bed, I started questioning whether this is really worth it. What am I hoping to accomplish by demanding that she try a bite of something she doesn't want to eat? Is that the best way to get her explore new foods? Based on last night's episode, I would say not. Is engaging in a power struggle with my toddler really the best way to teach her to show respect for the cook? And, when she spends an hour screaming while Rene and I eat, isn't that defeating the purpose of family meal time? I realize that last night was only day 2 in my efforts to set a clear expectation of what she will eat during dinner. So, I will stick with it a little longer. But, I am open to any advice or insights any of you may have...
For dinner last night, I made tacos with ground turkey. Instead of using taco shells or tortillas, we wrapped the tacos in lettuce, which provides a nice crunch and makes the tacos a little lighter. I also made refried black beans (from the can) and made "salsa rice," which is simply white rice mixed with some salsa, black beans and little salt. Dinner was good, but it was over-shadowed by a dinner time side show...
The true challenge is proving to be getting Mariana to eat. Last night, as with the night before, I prepped her a few minutes before dinner by reminding her that she needed to try one bite of what I made. Well, this time, she didn't even make it to the table before the temper tantrum started. There were a few times when she calmed herself enough to ask for cheese (one of her favorite foods is shredded cheese), but when I told her she needed to eat one bite of beans first, the screaming and crying began again. I'm actually ashamed to admit that she screamed and carried on for close to an hour! Rene and I both did our very best to ignore the screaming and only talk to her when she was in a calmer state. I dug deep into my bag of strategies that I use with students that are having tantrums: stay calm, repeat the expectation, don't respond to undesired behaviors, and don't give in. Of course, when it's my own child, following all of those "rules" is very challenging. In the end, we held our ground, but Mariana held hers, too. She refused to eat a bite of beans, so she did not have dinner. She did drink some milk and since she had eaten well the rest of the day, I knew she wouldn't starve. But that didn't help with the guilt that went along with knowing that my almost 3 year old went to bed without eating dinner.
After she was in bed, I started questioning whether this is really worth it. What am I hoping to accomplish by demanding that she try a bite of something she doesn't want to eat? Is that the best way to get her explore new foods? Based on last night's episode, I would say not. Is engaging in a power struggle with my toddler really the best way to teach her to show respect for the cook? And, when she spends an hour screaming while Rene and I eat, isn't that defeating the purpose of family meal time? I realize that last night was only day 2 in my efforts to set a clear expectation of what she will eat during dinner. So, I will stick with it a little longer. But, I am open to any advice or insights any of you may have...
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Challenge: Day 1
Day 1 of my 5 day Family Dinner Challenge down...Here's how it went...
I usually do grogery shopping on Sunday and though I have the week off, today was not exception. I spent the last couple days going through some of my cooking magazines looking for new recipes to try. At first, I was feeling overly ambitious and had a brand new recipe picked out for each of the 5 nights. However, I realized that may be a little much. So, I picked out a couple new recipes and the other nights I'll stick to things a little more familiar. Each day, I'll share what I made. So I won't get into the meals for the week right now. With my recipes picked out and my grocery list made (I used a cool shopping list app on my phone!) Mariana and I hit the grocery store and found everything on our list! My hope is that I won't have to step into a grocery store again for a week, but that is probably wishful thinking.
As you recall, the first part of the challenge for myself is to cook dinner 5 nights this week. Rene and I often start out with every intention of cooking and eating at home each night. But, inevitably, we have nights when we are so tired or sick of cooking that we end up going out or ordering a pizza. Tonight, we talked about getting pizza, but then Rene came up with a graet idea...For dinner tonight, Rene helped me by grilling pork tenderloin and asparagus and I made homemade mashed potatoes. Pork tenderloin is one of our favorites, especially in the warmer months when we can cook it on the grill. For the aspargus, Rene simply drizzled it with olive oil, grilled it and then sprinkled it with salt and paper. For the potatoes, I boiled yukon gold potatoes on the stove. When they were cooked, I mashed them by hand with a little butter, milk, a couple of tablespoons of sour cream and some fresh chopped parsely. It sounds like a complicated meal, but it was relatively quick to make and was quite tasty.
Part 2 of my challenge is to require Mariana to try at least one bite of whatever we make before letting her make a different choice. This second part a was a little more challenging tonight. A few minutes before dinner was ready, she started asking for "something from the cupboard." Meaning, the cupboard where we keep snacks like crackers, cookies, raisins, cereal, etc. I simply told her, "We're having dinner a in a couple minutes. After you try 2 bites of dinner, if you don't like it you can make a different choice." She was fine with that until I actually put a plate with two small pieces of pork on it in front of her. Then the screams began. She pushed the plate of food away and screamed and cried. Keeping our cool, Rene and I pulled her chair slightly back from the table and told that when she was ready to have her 2 bites, she could come back. Well, she screamed and carried on for over 10 minutes! At one point, I thought we would still be in the kitchen waiting for her to calm down at midnight. But luckily, by some miracle, she stopped crying, calmed herself down and said she was ready to eat the pork. We slid her chair back to the table and she promptly ate both bites! And then she asked for more! She called in porky-pine, but she ate it and enjoyed it, so that's all that matters. Hopefully, after tonight she realizes that we really are making yummy food and we won't have to deal with the screaming. But, if we do, we're ready!
So, 1 meal down and 4 to go. How is your challenge going?
I usually do grogery shopping on Sunday and though I have the week off, today was not exception. I spent the last couple days going through some of my cooking magazines looking for new recipes to try. At first, I was feeling overly ambitious and had a brand new recipe picked out for each of the 5 nights. However, I realized that may be a little much. So, I picked out a couple new recipes and the other nights I'll stick to things a little more familiar. Each day, I'll share what I made. So I won't get into the meals for the week right now. With my recipes picked out and my grocery list made (I used a cool shopping list app on my phone!) Mariana and I hit the grocery store and found everything on our list! My hope is that I won't have to step into a grocery store again for a week, but that is probably wishful thinking.
As you recall, the first part of the challenge for myself is to cook dinner 5 nights this week. Rene and I often start out with every intention of cooking and eating at home each night. But, inevitably, we have nights when we are so tired or sick of cooking that we end up going out or ordering a pizza. Tonight, we talked about getting pizza, but then Rene came up with a graet idea...For dinner tonight, Rene helped me by grilling pork tenderloin and asparagus and I made homemade mashed potatoes. Pork tenderloin is one of our favorites, especially in the warmer months when we can cook it on the grill. For the aspargus, Rene simply drizzled it with olive oil, grilled it and then sprinkled it with salt and paper. For the potatoes, I boiled yukon gold potatoes on the stove. When they were cooked, I mashed them by hand with a little butter, milk, a couple of tablespoons of sour cream and some fresh chopped parsely. It sounds like a complicated meal, but it was relatively quick to make and was quite tasty.
Part 2 of my challenge is to require Mariana to try at least one bite of whatever we make before letting her make a different choice. This second part a was a little more challenging tonight. A few minutes before dinner was ready, she started asking for "something from the cupboard." Meaning, the cupboard where we keep snacks like crackers, cookies, raisins, cereal, etc. I simply told her, "We're having dinner a in a couple minutes. After you try 2 bites of dinner, if you don't like it you can make a different choice." She was fine with that until I actually put a plate with two small pieces of pork on it in front of her. Then the screams began. She pushed the plate of food away and screamed and cried. Keeping our cool, Rene and I pulled her chair slightly back from the table and told that when she was ready to have her 2 bites, she could come back. Well, she screamed and carried on for over 10 minutes! At one point, I thought we would still be in the kitchen waiting for her to calm down at midnight. But luckily, by some miracle, she stopped crying, calmed herself down and said she was ready to eat the pork. We slid her chair back to the table and she promptly ate both bites! And then she asked for more! She called in porky-pine, but she ate it and enjoyed it, so that's all that matters. Hopefully, after tonight she realizes that we really are making yummy food and we won't have to deal with the screaming. But, if we do, we're ready!
So, 1 meal down and 4 to go. How is your challenge going?
Friday, March 30, 2012
Family Dinner Challenge
Over the course of the past couple weeks, things have been a little "off" in our house. Last week, I had to stay late for conferences 2 nights, my husband had many early or late meetings and there were events for my daughter's school. I have also continued to (barely) balance work and home with my graduate classes and we have been trying to prepare for the new baby by converting our guest room into a nursey. Then, this week I became quite sick and we had to put everything else on hold. Needless to say, cooking and family meals have not been the top priority. Luckily, I am feeling better and am looking forward to having Spring Break this coming week. One of my main goals is to get back in the routine of cooking and having dinner together as a family.
To make this a little more exciting, I have decided to call next week my "Family Dinner Challenge." I am not usually a competitive person, but there is something about a "challenge" that makes me a little more motivated to stick with it. My challenge has two parts. First, I am challenging myself to plan and cook 5 dinners at home next week. The second part of the challenge for myself and husband is to not give into our daughter when she asks for something else to eat, but to maintain the expectation that she will at least try a bite of whatever I make before she can have something else. I anticipate that the second part of my challenge will be the most difficult, but I am determined to stick with that!
As I prepare for my challenge next week, I encourage each of you to have your own "Family Dinner Challenge." As always, make it work for you. If you don't regularly eat dinner together, challenge your family to eat together 2 nights or 3 nights. If you find yourself having take-out every night, challenge yourself to cook a meal or two at home. Challenge your family try a new food, challenge yourself to test out a new recipe. Make it your own and have fun!
Throughout next week, I will give you daily updates on how my personal challenge is going and I would love to hear about yours. If you like, please post comments so everyone can hear how you are challenging your family to eat and spend more time together. And, when you have completed your challenge, let us know how it went.
So, what is your challenge going to be?
To make this a little more exciting, I have decided to call next week my "Family Dinner Challenge." I am not usually a competitive person, but there is something about a "challenge" that makes me a little more motivated to stick with it. My challenge has two parts. First, I am challenging myself to plan and cook 5 dinners at home next week. The second part of the challenge for myself and husband is to not give into our daughter when she asks for something else to eat, but to maintain the expectation that she will at least try a bite of whatever I make before she can have something else. I anticipate that the second part of my challenge will be the most difficult, but I am determined to stick with that!
As I prepare for my challenge next week, I encourage each of you to have your own "Family Dinner Challenge." As always, make it work for you. If you don't regularly eat dinner together, challenge your family to eat together 2 nights or 3 nights. If you find yourself having take-out every night, challenge yourself to cook a meal or two at home. Challenge your family try a new food, challenge yourself to test out a new recipe. Make it your own and have fun!
Throughout next week, I will give you daily updates on how my personal challenge is going and I would love to hear about yours. If you like, please post comments so everyone can hear how you are challenging your family to eat and spend more time together. And, when you have completed your challenge, let us know how it went.
So, what is your challenge going to be?
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
What's for dinner?
Tonight was a good dinner night. Although I'm still tired from losing an hour of sleep a few nights ago, the sunshine gave me extra energy to be creative. It was pretty simple, actually. I cut up a couple chicken breasts, seasoned with salt, pepper and garlic and sauteed them in some olive oil on the stove. I then added some onion, a jar of sundried tomatoes and drizzled it all with balsamic vinegar. I stirred in cooked pasta and then tossed in some spinach and mixed it until it wilted. It was pretty good for a Tuesday, if I may say so myself...
You may be asking yourself, "so, what did the 2 year old eat?" And, that would be a great question. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a super mom. Mariana does not enjoy balsamic glazed chicken with wilted spinach over pasta. In fact, if I can get her to eat Mac & Cheese (which is what she ate tonight) I'm doing pretty good.
For the past couple months now, Rene and I have been struggling with what is probably a common conflict for parents. Do we force our daughter to try new things and eat what we prepare and risk nightly dinner distress? Or, do we continue to offer healthy choices and let her make her own decisions on what she is going to eat? As I have been reading up on this subject, I have learned that, like with most things, there are many strong opinions on this topic. Most family dinner advocates think that part of eating dinner together is everyone eating the same thing. Most seem to agree that forcing a child to eat everything on his or her plate is no longer a good strategy. However, these folks do believe that children should be taught to at least try everything put in front of them, out of respect for the cook and that this should be started at a very early age. The other school of thought is to offer healthy choices, including what is cooked for dinner, but to let the child choose. According to Shandley McMurray in her article Pleasing Your Picky Eater, the best way to get kids to try new foods are to not force them and to keep offering the same healthy the choices. Shandley says that it can take up to 15 times of a food being offered before a child will accept it and try it!
As for what to do with Mariana, I'm still not sure. For now, offering choices is working for us. We have tried demanding that she try at least one bite of what we make before letting her choose something else, but that usually ends with her screaming, eating nothing and Rene and I being frustrated and upset. When I just put things on the table, such as a plate of raw carrots and peppers, bread with dipping oil or pasta, she usually ends up nibbling on something, even if she is eating her Macaroni and Cheese at the same time. Every family needs to make their own decision on how to handle this with their children. But for us, right now, being together at the table is more important than everyone eating the same thing.
Here is the link for the article I referenced above:
http://recipes.kaboose.com/pickyeaters.html
You may be asking yourself, "so, what did the 2 year old eat?" And, that would be a great question. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a super mom. Mariana does not enjoy balsamic glazed chicken with wilted spinach over pasta. In fact, if I can get her to eat Mac & Cheese (which is what she ate tonight) I'm doing pretty good.
For the past couple months now, Rene and I have been struggling with what is probably a common conflict for parents. Do we force our daughter to try new things and eat what we prepare and risk nightly dinner distress? Or, do we continue to offer healthy choices and let her make her own decisions on what she is going to eat? As I have been reading up on this subject, I have learned that, like with most things, there are many strong opinions on this topic. Most family dinner advocates think that part of eating dinner together is everyone eating the same thing. Most seem to agree that forcing a child to eat everything on his or her plate is no longer a good strategy. However, these folks do believe that children should be taught to at least try everything put in front of them, out of respect for the cook and that this should be started at a very early age. The other school of thought is to offer healthy choices, including what is cooked for dinner, but to let the child choose. According to Shandley McMurray in her article Pleasing Your Picky Eater, the best way to get kids to try new foods are to not force them and to keep offering the same healthy the choices. Shandley says that it can take up to 15 times of a food being offered before a child will accept it and try it!
As for what to do with Mariana, I'm still not sure. For now, offering choices is working for us. We have tried demanding that she try at least one bite of what we make before letting her choose something else, but that usually ends with her screaming, eating nothing and Rene and I being frustrated and upset. When I just put things on the table, such as a plate of raw carrots and peppers, bread with dipping oil or pasta, she usually ends up nibbling on something, even if she is eating her Macaroni and Cheese at the same time. Every family needs to make their own decision on how to handle this with their children. But for us, right now, being together at the table is more important than everyone eating the same thing.
Here is the link for the article I referenced above:
http://recipes.kaboose.com/pickyeaters.html
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